Five years: A whole hand of Breastivus!

Wow, I can't believe my diagnosis was five years ago.  That's a whole hand!  I didn't promote last year's post on any social media and yet eight whole people (perhaps Russian bots?) clicked through to my blog.  I've changed jobs a few times in the last few years, and as both of my daughters are now in elementary school, I've met lots of people in the last few years that have no idea about this part of my life (until they read this post, perhaps). At some point I make a decision with new friends and acquaintances to share my history.  Or sometimes I don't.  I have yet to come up with a graceful way to "come out".  It always feels overly dramatic.  A little bit like this post.  Fortunately, I'm enough of a narcissist to continue.

When I was diagnosed, my five-year anniversary felt like a milestone that was never going to happen. And yet, here we are.  I'm reminded of cancer any time I see my scars or take my estrogen-blocking meds.  So...daily.  I'm joking about the daily reminders (sort of).  I honestly don't spend a lot of time thinking about cancer.  That being said, I don't know a single survivor that hasn't had a scare or is at least a teensy-tiny bit worried about it coming back.  We've all known people pass away from this terrible disease.  Some have died from breast cancer, others have passed away from different cancers.  I won't speak for my fellow survivors, but I think the general consensus is if we were "lucky" enough to get it once, who's to say we won't get it again.  Recurrence statistics, no matter how low, aren't as reassuring as you'd think.

I'm still mentoring women through Dana Farber's SoulMates program and I'm very excited to share that I'm now a Board Member of Camp Kesem's Boston chapter. While cancer has affected me in profound ways, I don't let it define me.  Yes, it's a topic near and dear to my heart, as demonstrated by the fact that most of my volunteering time is cancer-related.  But there are plenty of people that have no idea.  And it's my choice to tell them.  Or not.

I wasn't sure how to celebrate this day.  One friend suggested champagne, and I liked the idea at the time, but for now, it's just another day.  I didn't even remember until halfway through working out this morning.  While the day sneaks up on me, it's not quite at the point where I completely forget about this day.  We've just started renovating our house and I was laid off a few weeks ago, so I'm trying to enjoy being unemployed for the first time in my life.  If it wasn't for the house prep I'd be crawling the walls with boredom.

I was hoping this entry would be profound and impactful.  Instead, it feels rather ordinary.  I think that kind of sums up life right now--back to the ordinary.