Please don't do this for me

Here's another possible post-treatment blog idea: Blogging about bizarre cancer "support" days.  I happened to see an ad on Boston.com for this whole Go Bald on October 18.  I'm not sure how well known this idea is either in or out of New England, but I've been puzzled since I saw it.  Really?  Am I missing something here?  Did they clear this idea with Mike before he passed away (or "lost his battle with cancer", a phrase I loathe, because it implies that those of us who survive "win" and those that don't, "lose")? 

Let me just say this now in case anybody is thinking of jumping on this bandwagon on my behalf:  please don't.  I've given up the hats, scarves and wigs already so this is a moot point.  I get it, it's supposed to be symbolic, but I think it's kind of thoughtless and insulting.  I don't know a single person (and granted, I've interacted with more women with cancer than men) who enjoyed losing their hair.  It's an emotional and terrible part of this experience that I would prefer not to be reminded of.  If people had wanted to shave their heads in solidarity with me back when I lost my hair, that would have been very sweet of them.  But again, unnecessary.  I'm sure those of us who lose our hair are far more subconscious of this than any of our family and friends, but the last thing I would want is for anybody to go bald for me.  For a day.  Wearing a bizarre looking, flesh-colored cap.

I don't know the people who started this movement, but I'm sure they had good intentions.  I'm not angry at these people, but I suspect this whole concept is coming from well-meaning people that never had cancer.  I could be wrong.  And I don't really care, so don't feel like you have to research this for me.  This isn't like the Race Director incident where I want these people to go down.  I just think if you want to support somebody you love that has cancer, there are much better ways to go about it.  Here are some ideas:

1. Send him a card or call him to let him know you're thinking of him.
2. Bring her a meal.
3. Take him out to a movie.
4. Call her up and tell her you want to take her kids off her hands for a few hours.  
5. Bring a meal to somebody you don't even know that has cancer (there are organizations that organize things like this.  Their names are escaping me right now).
6. Offer somebody a ride to chemo or radiation.
7. Volunteer at a cancer event or for one of the organizations that's listed on the Beneficiaries page of the Bald site.
8. Raise money for a cancer cause where you know where the money is going.

For the latter, I am leery of big non-profits where you're not sure where the money is going.  I mean, yes, I realize they need to pay people to run the said cause, but I think there are sites where you can see how these non-profits actually spend their money.  Also, you may want to donate money to a place that focuses on raising money for research rather than awareness.  Or go back to idea #7 and just volunteer. 

The above are not veiled attempts for me.  If I wanted something, I'd ask for it.  That being said, I certainly wouldn't turn away any fairy godmothers who wanted to take my children away from me for a few hours (to the person who did this a few months ago--you are awesome!  This was really, really appreciated).  Seriously, I'm good for right now, I just wanted to get on my soapbox to share my thoughts on an odd awareness idea.